1 Peter 3:3-5, 3 “Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from
outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands.”
I hear so many ladies today saying that they will respect their husbands when he earns it! Now, this sounds like a good idea if we are living by the world’s view of marriage, but if we desire to live by God’s word and God’s way we are commanded in scripture to respect him. It does not say he must earn our respect or that we have other options.
I am sure you are thinking, this is hard to do especially if he does not conduct himself in a way that makes you want to respect him or even try. Let’s face it we all have moments where we are not shining, being our best, saying kind things.
I made up my mind to not say negative things about my husband ever, to anyone, but the Lord. My goal is not about pleasing him, my goal is to please my Lord. Our relationship with our spouse is a mirror of our relationship with God. I made the choice to be submissive, not a doormat as so many believe, but, submissive and respectful of my husband’s place as head of our home. If I cannot submit to him, then I will struggle with submitting to God. I need to be aware that the things I do and say matter to my husband’s spiritual well- being.
I am blessed to be married to a strong man of God, who is very conscious of his actions and words, however, I was married once before to someone and that was not how he was. I had times where I did not feel respect, but I gave it anyway. So much so that when we did divorce people were shocked. I never shared anything that would make him look bad to others. I respected him because God said to.
Now for several of you out there, finding out I am on a second marriage might send you into a tailspin, that is okay. We all have ghosts in our closet, I just keep mine dressed and looking good in case they need to come out and parade around. It is in the past, forgiven and redeemed by my Lord. End of story! Side note: He and I are friends and have a very good amicable relationship. Why, because it pleases the Lord when we forgive as he tells us to!
If your spouse is not a believer obviously you want him to be, how very unattractive Christianity must be for a man married to a believer and his wife is disrespectful and argumentative; Do it for God. Our goal in life is to please our Lord.
You can trust God with his heart. Pray for him, prayer is our most powerful weapon and one we do not employ as often as we should. Show him Jesus by what you do and say! If you know you have not been showing respect, repent and start now, it is never too late it may be the very thing that makes him seek the Lord and be saved.