Do you ever feel that you have wasted so much of your life on meaningless things? The pursuit of something more, the allusive whatever that the world holds up and makes you think you just have to have it, or go there, or do that? I have those times when I am sitting quietly and my mind starts to wonder, it goes down corridors of my brain that I have not visited for a while and I look back and see so much wasted time, so many could have, should have moments.
I wonder then, if I see this as wasted meaningless time, how must God view it? I should have been busier with furthering his kingdom, I should have made a better choice in that moment, I could have done more and on and on it goes like a merry-go-round. The scenes become blurry and I am left feeling like a failure, and I hear the devil say to me “loser move on!”
Then I hear the Holy Spirit whisper to me, “do you really think you have that much control over your life?” Your steps are ordered before you are born, we are told this in scripture in Psalm 37:23 “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.” And then this one, which really says it all, Proverbs 20:24 “A person’s steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand their own way?” I know threre have been many times that I did not understand my own way, as a matter of fact, I thought I must have gone crazy to do that, say that etc.
The turns I have made in my lifetime, the decisions that I have made God himself has allowed. He was there every step of the way, in the good, the bad and the down-right ugly of my life. The things I have done whether they were good or bad were done with his full knowledge and his beforehand knowledge. My life is not my own and He has allowed mistakes to be made in order to show me my need for him. Who I am without him. When I do not let the Lord be Lord of my life my decisions are made in my flesh. And my flesh makes some bad decisions!
See, nothing is wasted with God. No mistake is so bad that he cannot forgive it and redeem it when we repent and turn. He does not care how many times you have messed up or with whom you have messed up, or that you did this or that in the heat of the moment; what he cares about is what you do with it. The enemy loves to accuse us, he loves to keep us constantly looking back at all the dumb mistakes, the careless words etc. His desire is to keep us from moving forward in Christ. See, he cannot steal our salvation, but he can steal our joy if we let him. It is a decision. We must choose to accept the grace we have been given, trust by faith that God can use even our biggest mess up for his glory and our good and move forward, looking to Jesus. Always forward…
When I do have those look back in time moments, I try to quickly steer my thoughts back to the present, thanking God for his unending love and mercy. Thanking God that He is writing my story, He is master of my ship, He alone is able to finish the work in me and make me all he intended me to be and so much more than I believe myself to be.
Keep on marching soldier, ignore the enemy, look to Jesus, move in the grace and mercy afforded us each day and trust the Creator, the giver of life and the one who orders our way to do all that is needed to get us to Heaven, redeemed, sanctified, justified and purified, complete and righteous, all because of Jesus.
It really is ALL about him !