If you are like me you have been disappointed by people on more than one occasion. Sometimes it is a small disappointment and other times it is a really big hurt or a disappointment that cuts deeply. Sometimes our first response to disappointment and hurt is to lash out and hurt back. We want that person to know exactly how badly we feel and we feel justified in doing so. We all know the golden rule “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, but we want to change it to this ” do unto others as they do to you, but do it first”. After all, it is all about me, or is it?
Maybe you are the ones that have caused hurt or disappointment in someone’s life and you have ” done to others first”, now you live with the consequences of it, we can’t backtrack, we cannot make it disappear, so what do we do? No matter if you are on the side of being the one who has disappointed and hurt, or the one that’s on the receiving end there is only one way to heal from it, and that is going to God’s word, seeing others who have experienced hurt and getting on your knees and asking the Lord to help you, forgiveness, in either situation for self and possibly from others. We need the wisdom to know how to restore the hurt relationship.
If you’re on the receiving end of hurt and disappointment it can be very hard to forgive, especially if it is a deep wound, you may not want to forgive, but forgive we must, not for the sake of others, it is for the sake of ourselves. Un-forgiveness doesn’t hurt the other person, but it is like cancer eating away at you all the time. Let’s look at an example in Scripture.
We read in John 18:15–27 when Peter denied Christ three times, we see his great sorrow, and we see the Lord’s response in John 21:15-17, “Jesus asked Peter three times “do you love me”, and Peter responded that yes he did, and Jesus said feed my sheep. Jesus had already forgiven Peter. Can you imagine having walked with the Lord and experienced seeing the miracles for three years, then when push comes to shove Peter can’t take the pressure, and denies knowing the Lord three times, the anguish in his soul and the disappointment in himself must have been terrible. God knew that Peter would deny him, and even before Peter sorrow, Jesus had already forgiven him. When I have caused hurt, I desperately want forgiveness and restoration. The thought that I have disappointed a Holy God and then someone I care about is a weight that is too heavy to carry.
We read these powerful words from Matthew 6:14-15 “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
I want to be a forgiver simply because I need forgiveness, how about you? None of us is so perfect that we never need forgiveness. And if you think you are you need to examine your heart!
Un-forgiveness is like choosing to fill ourselves with cancer or some other horrible disease and letting it fester inside us until we are dying or possibly already deceased.
Unforgiveness affects both your emotional and physical health. First, repent to the Lord, ask for wisdom to know how to proceed if you are seeking forgiveness and ask for wisdom and courage to forgive if you are giving it.
Remember the great forgiveness that you have received from the Father. In light of that, is it really that hard?