Psalm 55:22 “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

When we read the words of Psalm 55:22 we immediately think of the burdens of life, the hard stuff as being the cares we need to give to the Lord, but this word better explained is “gift,” or “lot.”
The things we go through in life really are a gift given to us by the Lord. They are all meant to lead us to a closer walk with him. I have said it before they are not meant to crush us, but to grow us toward Jesus and our need for him. We are told that if we throw this “gift” back to him and ask for his divine help in dealing with it, carrying it, he will give us the help we need and will even sustain us as we go through whatever “care” we are experiencing.

I can remember as a young girl not feeling like life was fair. My lot in life, my “gift” as it was, seemed too much most of the time. I wanted more than anything to be and feel normal. The future loomed ahead of me long and hard. But you see I could not see the future, all I had to compare it to was what I knew. To me, the future looked full of the same thing I was going through and I just thought, I can’t! I think of that from time to time how long and hard the days and week seemed to me, and yet looking back I see that they were just a small part of a much bigger picture. God even then was moving toward him; he was growing my young faith. He was walking with me through the hard stuff. I can look back now and see his hand. There were times when I could feel his presence even then. I knew God was near me and I wished I could see him, and I kinda did see him and hear him in my grandmother.

I was learning to “trust in the Lord” even then. I would go to my special place in the field and cry my little heart out to God. I would get mad and indignant about my life and tell him all about it. After all my grandmother had said I could tell him anything, so I did. God did not send me away with a scolding, He did not laugh at my anger and hurt. He listened and even then ministered to my soul. I always got up from my prayer spot feeling like I had been with Jesus, happy and ready to play. The only reason I could skip about and go on playing being a child was GOD!! He reached into my confused, angry, bruised heart and mind and calmed the troubled waters. I could not understand it, but I did not have to.

I can say that my time of hurt was such a blessing for me. It kept me seeking after Jesus. I needed this God that I heard and read about to do what his word said he could do. I wanted to feel him with me and near me. I wanted that freedom from pain that I was promised was available. And I got it! I have shared my testimony with people and the one thing I always say is that my life has been perfect. God put me where I needed to be and allowed the things I needed to have in my life to accomplish his perfect and good will and to save my rotten soul. And if the abuse my daddy did toward me in any way (and I believe it did) was what he needed to show him is great need of God and save his soul,(which God did) then it was a small, “yes small” price to pay to know that he is in heaven.

I am not ashamed of my past, I do not dwell in the past, but I do share my past to hopefully help others to see that God is good and He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly more! I am so thankful for the life he has given me, the forgiveness he has showered me with, the lessons he has taught me and the grace and faithfulness he has surrounded me with throughout my faith walk; and I am especially thankful for the new mercies that are mine each morning.

God is good…His plans are good…He is always with us…drawing us…calling us out into the deep…will you let go and follow? I am!